I am "THAT" Mother

I am one of THOSE mothers.
You know the kind,
The mother whose kid knows everything.
REALLY.

Cali went for her kindergarten assessment today.
She is a quiet girl, and I knew that she would whisper the answer to every question asked.
So I primed and prepared her for this event.

These were my words of wisdom.

1-Go potty and poop at home BEFORE testing,
It REALLY helps you think clearer.

2- Eat a good lunch.
It's brain power!

3- Speak loudly.
We practised!
Cali's loud voice would be normal audio to the rest of us.

4- Just answer the questions Cali, no pondering.
"Deer in the headlights" look, isn't allowed.

5- Trust yourself with your answers.
"Deer in the headlights" look, is REALLY not allowed.

6- Looking pretty really doesn't indicate what you know.

7- Even though you are the tallest in kindergarten,
Doesn't mean you know what a 2nd grader knows.

As a mom,
I am just sitting there pretending to fill out paperwork,
Candidly listening to the teacher.

Cali knows almost ALL the answers-
But she sits quietly, as if Miss Harris can read her mind.
I finally went over to the table.....

"Cali, just open your mouth and answer Miss Harris"
How dumb was that?

Bethany couldn't have chosen a better time to climb under the table and poop,
So that I, "THAT MOTHER", could gracefully exit,
And leave the classroom before the aroma could make matters worse!

The other two kindergarten teachers go to our church, and live in the neighborhood.
It is probably best that I didn't request either of them.
Because,
To look at them after my behavior today, would be embarrassing!

I have one more chance when Bethany goes to kindergarten to get it right.
Hopefully, senility doesn't set in so that I forget to sit nicely.

Maybe I should send Tim next time.
He is really good at sitting quietly!